EDIT: I've had enough of idiots posting here, so I'm screening non-friend comments. If you want to talk, message me. A description of myself. Future-dated so that it's always at the top of my journal.

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Below is a certain chart I found interesting.

My Personality
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Just so I can find this easily

I Am A: True Neutral Human Sorcerer (1st Level)

Ability Scores:







True Neutral A true neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. He doesn't feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most true neutral characters exhibit a lack of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better than evil after all, he would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, he's not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way. Some true neutral characters, on the other hand, commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They advocate the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run. True neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you act naturally, without prejudice or compulsion. However, true neutral can be a dangerous alignment when it represents apathy, indifference, and a lack of conviction.

Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.


The cute dragonet here is Duskwing. Where she's from? Read below.

So for a while now I was rather melancholy about stuff, because... well... I recently learned about this book. It’s called Captured by Fate. It’s about a female mage whose spell misfires and gets her trapped within the body of a dragon(-et), and then gets raised as one. (The Kickstarter page is here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1660163976/the-dragons-storm-trilogy)

Now I know I haven’t really thought about this kind of thing for months, at the least. My interests tend to come and go, and I thought I was happier with life now, that I was over this phase. Even if I was a bit unhappy with the world, I could more-or-less lead a normal life.

But the moment I read this synopsis, it made me think. Because this is exactly the kind of thing that I wish for. Not the book - though I’d love to get a copy and start reading - but that... plot. It somehow reaches inside me and reminds me of what I wanted, perhaps a year or two ago, and that I still want it.

I know I renounced being a draconic, being an anything other than being agnostic, because I couldn’t get myself to believe that I really was a dragon spirit trapped in a human body. As far as I could tell, I was a human. That’s all. But this... what I realize now is that whatever spirit I am (and as far as I’m concerned spirits are colorless), I really just want to be a dragon. Not just that. I am sick of the human world, of my human body, of having to do things that I really don’t want to do ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
(I know it’s a bit melodramatic, but when the “things that I really don’t want to do” involve interacting with people in any way other than the spiritual, I think I get a pass. I really don’t like having to think about every move I make and feeling awkward while I’m doing it. I get tired of talking to people easily.)

This may just be escapist, of course, evidence of an unhealthy mind and maybe a sign that I ought to go to a counsellor and become normal. And I probably should, someday, but I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to be a dragon myself, and I don’t see the appeal of becoming “normal” - assuming you can even find an accurate description of that. I don’t think there are any good or bad decisions, just different benefits and costs and such. In this case, I don’t see my want to be a dragon as a bad thing at all.

Now, some good news: No, I’m not suicidal in the least. Yes, I can interact with society, as long as I need to. And yes, I can probably conceal my inner turmoil from anyone else. Only thing is that I often appear as moody and depressed to others, but, y’know, that’s normal for me.

But I really do not like living in this world, generally speaking. I’m not Aurora - I can derive some pleasure here and there, maybe enjoy things like reading and playing games and, potentially, suiting up, but if I had the chance to “jump ship”, metaphorically speaking, I’d probably take it. Even more so if there’s a time-delay on it.

Still, for now, such an opportunity is not forthcoming, and is unlikely to appear anywhere within my lifetime, so... I guess I’ll just continue to read books, play games, and fantasize what could happen.

And, ultimately, pray that at the end of my lifespan, whenever that comes, I will have the opportunity to go. And I mean pray, literally.

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As a final note, I am re-discovering my obsession. I had a dream last night about being a dragon - sorry, becoming stuck as a dragon -, I am going to fork out money just to order that book, and I hope some day there will be an opportunity to suit up as a dragon. Hopefully I can get something around that whole “reborn” thing. Rebirth is a powerful concept.

Plus, I should probably try and find that whole “spirituality” thing again. If nothing else, it’ll give me quite a bit of comfort - I do wonder what’s beyond the veil. I’ll be on Draconic. (The forum, that is.)

On a final note, this is going to get double-posted on both DA and LJ, and possibly my FA as well. I know I swore not to touch my LJ anymore, but it remains the most reliable way of reaching out to the people that matter.



Sigh... I dunno. Ever since I've been enlisted into the army, life just seems quite a drag. I'm at home now because I'll ill, and I'll be home every weekend from now on, but really, I don't see much of a purpose to life at the moment. It's just dull drudgery from here till POP, with that field camp in between to "look forward" to. /sarcasm.

On the plus side, current weight is 98.9kg, down from 103 or so. Height is 1.82m. I'll be trying to record it as much as possible. Maybe that'll be a way to pass the time.

4 months looks so very, very, long and boring.
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    bored bored


I'm aware that this piece of news is a bit late, but better late than never.

Okay, so the US government has outdone themselves by finally - finally - submitting a bill with bipartisan support. Unfortunately, it's not a good bill that deserves that support.

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Haven't done something this political for a long time, but... I mean seriously, WTF. Watch the wrath of 4chan and Anonymous.
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    irritated irritated

Wish me luck

A-levels are starting tomorrow. They'll last until the 1st of December.

I'm rather jumpy. OMG. I really hope I can at least make it into university. Hell, argh!

On a side note, I've taken to watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Blame Aurora for that. It's very addictive - I'm seeing them in my sleep. No, literally.

At least they stop me from brooding too much. Everything's better with ponies.




Okay, so I was looking at some of my old stories and I was thinking, "Wouldn't it be much better if I had someone here to check through my stuff and give comments about it?"

Seriously though, I think it might be a lot better. Not just for stories, but for... everything.

Unfortunately though, I don't have time for stories, nor do I have (sensible) ideas. I'll have to get back on that in future.

CAPAlert alert

Been a long time since I've written anything about this, but here:


I won't offer any opinion on this, but... here's a question. According to the CAP reviewer, it is morally outrageous that two gay people are living together normally, when "quite the opposite appears to be true", meaning they probably expected an orgy. Then they complain about gay people having orgies and such. Okay, so what are they exactly complaining about? Them having orgies or them NOT having orgies?

Either way, it looks like they're on their way out due to lack of money. Anyone wants to donate a coin for them to pay Charon?
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    contemplative contemplative